I was just thinking...how I'm so stuck in a rut right now, that I really need to break free. I've been in this rut for a couple of years now, and I know I won't really be happy until I get out of it. But the thing is. I can't get out of it right now. But if it gets to be too much I'll have to take drastic measures next year, but if I want to play it safe...it's going to be another two years. TWO YEARS! Do you think my happiness is not important enough to have to wait two years to BE happy?!?! Unfortunately, I can't really do anything about the situation right now because if I do something about it right now, it could jeopardize my future. I can't jeopardize my future. It's the only way I'll be able to get out of the rut. What's the rut you say?
My life.
No, I'm not suicidal, I'm talking about the life I'm living now. I'm bored, and uninspired. I find no point in anything because I'm unhappy and the only sliver of happiness I'm going to get in less than a year, is when I go on my trip to New York next year in the summer. I belong in New York. I loooooove New York. Actually there are not great enough words to describe how much I want to be in New York for the rest of my life. I get giddy just thinking about it. I have tears of happiness just when I'm THINKING about it. You don't know how much New york means to me. It means a lot.
That's for listening.
xo, stefanie
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